- Freedom to express anything about the cookies (although not about the cook). She shall be held harmless in perpetuity.
- Right to defend your cookie-eating habits however you think best. Bare arms work fairly well, but if you need extra help, feel free to employ a bear or two.
- Right to treat the cook well.
- Freedom from would-be cookie thieves.
- Right to deny cookie-based associations or even the presence of cookie products in one’s reasonably closed mouth. Bulging cheeks stretched over immensely satisfied silly grins could mean any number of things.
- Right to gobble as quickly as you desire.
- Right to explain the worthiness of your personal cookie practices to your friends and associates.
- Freedom from the impositions of those who would remove uneaten cookies from your table. Appetites regularly return; it’s best to remain prepared.
- Right to claim more cookies for yourself than you had previously imagined.
- Unless overruled by disappointingly valid regulations, the cook is queen.
P.S. Today’s cookies are chocolate chip with white chocolate.
Come and get ’em!