Fully recognizing that I know less about NCAA rules than I do of the ecosystems of the Antarctic, I have to say that it’ll be a cold day in you-know-where when I can accept the notion that frosted football cookies are secondary to much of anything!
While I’m sure that honest Gamecock fans are relieved to read this week’s report that the impermissible frosting “episode” will be dropped (no further investigations are planned for the secondary NCAA violation), what about the baker?
He or she baked and frosted with the best of intentions, I’m sure. To what end? A secondary status and then nothing? Surely the folks at NCAA had mothers or other loved ones who poured their affections onto cookie sheets. Cunning caretakers who know that the way to a heart is through the stomach (and maybe through the eyes) ought to be rewarded for applying the dark arts of cooking to their quests for adoration. Shouldn’t they?
Today, baking with an impure heart, indeed, baking mostly in a panicky protest, I’ve made cookies for you that I intend to be so over the top that the NCAA, ESPN, SI and SI for Kids, and most any other acronym-labeled sports organization that influences young people would recognize the treats as a primary assault.
Today’s deep-dish cookie pizza slices are topped with white chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate, milk chocolate, Heath toffee bits, dark chocolate chunks, Reese’s minis, Kit Kat minis, toasted glazed oatmeal and Campfire mini-marshmallows. But don’t be afraid. Today’s offering does not include nuts, raisins or dates.
Come and get ’em!